ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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