I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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