at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
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I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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