she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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