Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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