why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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