mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
