Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize