you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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