I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There's even glitter on my cock...
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