i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
