Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
