Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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