just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
