Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
