That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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