we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
