Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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