TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
