Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
