I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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