ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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