her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
