Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
