So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
