chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
