Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
