He disabled his match.com account in front of me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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