I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
