You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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