uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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