worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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