The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay