Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
