I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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