I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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