just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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