You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
