Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
