Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
