Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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