this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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