I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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