she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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