when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
BRING THE BAGELS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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