But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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