No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
