My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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