Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
