I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn