We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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