i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
