I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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