some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
