i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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