therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The air taste purple.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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