so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize