Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
