it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
