you guys were way drunker than both of me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
