Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
